Kelly's Journal

1:00AM - memories from 9 months ago

What moonsongs
Do you sing your baby?
What sunshine do you bring?

Who belongs
Who decides who's crazy
Who rights wrongs where others cling?

I'll sing for you
If you want me to
I'll give to you
And it's a chance I'll have to take
And it's a chance I'll have to break

I go along
Just because I'm lazy
I go along to be with you

And those moonsongs
That you sing your baby
Will be the songs to see you through

I'll hear your song
If you want me to
I'll sing along
And it's a chance I'll have to take
And it's a chance I'll have to break

I'm in love with you
So in love
I'm in love with you
with you.

3:26PM - Happy Birthdays

SHANAFAN02: Happy Birthday
CareBear0532: HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bwalmsley13: happy birthday, its too early too call so im going to call you later on tonight
flipflop mcgee: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
tlp4526: Happy Birthday!
kaylamwarack: and by the way HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
BekahBean84: Happy Brithday Kelly! I hope you have a great 22nd and dance your little patoot off!

11:57PM

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

7:35PM

put an X next to every ...movie you've seen---if you have more than 70 ...you're a ...movie junkie

(x)Pirates of the Caribbean
(x)The Mexican
( )Fight Club
( )Starsky and Hutch
( )Neverending Story
( )Blazing Saddles
( )Garden State
(x)The Princess Bride
( )Young Frankenstien
(x)AnchorMan
(x)Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White noise
( )White Oleander
( )Anger Management

total here: 5

(x)50 First Dates
( )Jason X
(x)Scream
(x)Scream 2
(x)Scream 3
(x)Scary Movie
(x)Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(x)American Pie
(x)American Pie 2
(x)American Wedding
(x)Harry Potter
(x)Harry Potter 2
(x)Harry Potter 3
( )Resident Evil
( )Resident Evil 2
(x)The Wedding ...Singer
( )Little Black Book

total here : 13

( ) The Village
(x)Donnie Darko
(x)Lilo & Stitch
(x)Finding Nemo
(x)Finding Neverland
(x)13 Ghosts
(x)Signs
(x)The Grinch
( )Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( )White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
(x)13 Going on 30
( )I, Robot
(x)Dodgeball
( )Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x)Along Came A Spider
(x)Deep impact

total here: 11

( )KingPin
(x)Never Been Kissed
(x)Meet The Parents
(x)Meet the Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
(x)The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( )Passport to Paris
(x)Dumb & Dumber
( )Dumb & Dumberer
(x)Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
(x)Halloween
( )The Ring
( )The Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x)Practical Magic
( )Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
( )Secret Window
( )I Am Sam
( )The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Whole Ten Yards
(x)The Day After Tomorrow
( )Child's Play
(x)Bride of Chucky
(x)Ten Things I Hate About You
(x)Just Married
( )Gothika
( )Nightmare on Elm Street
(x)Sixteen Candles
( )Bad Boys
(x)Bad Boys 2
( )Joy Ride
(x)Seven
(x)Oceans Eleven
( )Oceans Twelve
( )Identity

total here: 16

( )Lone Star
( )Predator I
( )Predator II
(x)Independence day
( )Cujo
(x)A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine 100
(x)ET
( )Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
(x)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
(x)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x)She's All That
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
( )Mars Attacks

total here: 6

( )Event Horizon
(x)Ever after
(x)Forrest Gump
(x)The Others
(x)Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
( )The Hot Chick
(x)Swimfan
( )Miracle
(x)Old School
(x)Ray
(x)The Notebook
( )K-Pax

total here: 8

(x)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( )Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( )Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x)A walk to remember
( )Boogeyman
(x)Hitch
( )The Fifth Element
(x)Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
( )Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
( )Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
( )Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
( )Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
( )Star Wars episode VI Return of the Jedi
(x)Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
(x)Air Force One
(x)For Richer or Poorer
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
(x)Sound of music
(x)Parent Trap
(x)The Burbs
(x)The Terminator
(x)Empire Records
(x)Meet Joe Black
( )Clockwork Orange
( )the Order
(x)Spiderman
( )Spiderman 2
( )Amelie
( )Scotland, PA
( )The Graduate

total here: 14

(x)Mean Girls
(x)Shrek
(x)Shrek 2
( )The Incredibles
( )Collateral
(x)The Fast & The Furious
( )2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
(x)closer

total here: 5

(x)Titanic
(x)Saved
(x)Bowling For Columbine
( )Farenheit 9/11
(x)The Sixth Sense
( )Artificial intelligence
(x)Love, Actually
( )Shutter
(x)Ella Enchanted
( )Princess diaries 1
( )Princess diaries 2
( )Constantine
(x)Million Dollar ...Baby
( )envy
( )Eurotrip
( )Malibu's Most wanted
(x)Big Daddy
( )black sheep
(x)The Breakfast Club
( )West side story

total here : 9

(x)A Christmas Story
(x)spanglish
( )Pulp Fiction
( )sleepover
( )The Evil Dead
( )Killer Klowns From Outer Space
( )The Seed of chucky
(x)Vanilla Sky
( )Nightmare Before Christmas
( )eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
(x)Interview With The Vampire
(x)The Crow
( )Purple Rain
(x)Wayne's World

total here: 6

(x)Wayne's World 2
( )21 Grams
( )Blow
(x)Edward Scissorhands
( )Clerks
(x)Beauty and the Beast
( )Guess who
(x)monster in-law
(x)elf
( )stuart little
( )stuart little 2
(x)Chasing amy
(x)dogma
( )jay & Silent Bob Strike Back

total here : 7

(x)Beetlejuice
( )Last Samurai
( )The Amityville Horror
( )The Aviator
(x)romeo and Juliet
( )Barbershop
( )Barbershop 2
( )Beauty Shop
(x)legally blonde
( )legally blonde 2
( )the forgotten
( )confessions of a teenage drama queen
( )the grudge

total here: 3

GRAND TOTAL: 103

9:34PM - "Let's just be friends."

So I hear it again. And this time I wasn't even looking for a relationship. Well, maybe in the future, but not really now. I was interested. I wanted to see where it would go. I like him. But I wasn't asking for more. Not now.

Boys are so afraid to run the risk of a possibility of falling in love, in like, or being happy in a relationship. "I like you. I just don't want a relationship." If you did like me, you'd want something from me.

And the frustrating part is that I know you. I can't just blow you off because I know you are a good person. You are someone I'd like to have around, to know. Years apart doesn't change that. I knew it when I was young. I know it now.

Regardless, I'll try to play the friend role. We'll see how this goes.

11:01PM - Here you go, Danny.

For the past few days, I've been talking to this cool kid. He's kind of a dork, but he's still cool. He's kind of weird too. But he's cool and nice and cute. So I think I'm going to keep talking to him.

11:04PM - For Roseann

Explode a Moment

My sweaty hand rubbed the paper. My head hurt. Was it from what was written on it, or was it fear of her reaction? The paper felt heavy in my hand, carrying the burden of seventeen years. I could feel her eyes questioning me. She wanted to know what it said. She wanted to know what was so important that my sweat had already made it soggy. She couldn't wait any longer, and neither could I. I slipped the paper into her hand, unloading my burdens but weighing her down.

Shrink a Century

She was born to two parents so grateful for her. Years later, her sister joined them as well. She went through boyfriends and friends, boyfriends and friends. She finally found the boyfriend and friend that would be just as grateful for her as her parents were on the day of her birth.

12:56PM - Let's start over...

...and we'll meet again. And I'll say hello. And you'll say hello. And we'll shake hands. And you'll grab my heart from a word and a gesture. And a smile. But I won't fall. I promise I won't fall. And we'll talk. And we'll laugh. And you'll make me want you. But I won't want you. I promise I won't want you. And you'll talk more. And I'll listen to every word. I'll hang on every word. And I won't wish I could kiss you. I promise I won't wish I could kiss you. And I'll talk. And you'll laugh. And we'll like each other. And I'll like you. I'll like you. But I won't love you. I promise I won't love you. And we'll discuss, politics, religion, and baby names. But I won't picture us having babies. I promise we won't have babies. And you'll walk me home. And we'll still talk. And you'll tell me how you like me and how you want to hang out again. And I'll tell you how I like you and how I want to hang out again. And you'll hug me. And I'll hug you. But I won't want to kiss you. I promise I won't want to kiss you. I'll just fall all over again.

12:45PM - Being 21...

...it's not really all that different from 20.

I'm still the same person. I still hurt the same. I'm still just as happy. I still have the same friends. I still have the same loves. I still miss the same things. I still value the same things. I still want to be a good person. I still want to be loved. I still fall apart at the seams. I still feel like a child. I still love where I am but want to be somewhere else - with someone else.

On October 15th, I decided that October 16th was going to be different. On October 16th, I would be able to mend my broken heart. I would love being me. I would finally be decisive. I would find strength in myself. I would forgive myself for the mistakes I've made. Life would be different.

It's not. I'm still the same.

I go through this every year. I'm sure next year will be no exception.

10:21AM - CHAD COLLIER

I need Chad Collier's home address. Roseann, Angela, Chad, or anyone that knows it, please let me know ASAP.

12:29AM

I may not have the most friends in the world, but mine are definitely the best.

Thank you, Roseann, Chad, and Angela.

1:48AM - My Rules (As Compiled by Me and Roseann)

1. Must not attend Michigan State.

2. Must love "Big Brother".

3. Must not dress up too much (only on special occasions). Must be able to pull off the button-down untucked casual shirts and jeans. Must be able to wear long-sleeved shirts under t-shirts. Must be able to pull off cut-off shirts (but not wear them all the time).

4. No leather pants.

5. NO FEATHER BOAS!

6. Must not be antisocial with my friends.

7. Must not only not be antisocial with my friends, but must also freely accept them as his own. (ex: Chad to me.)

8. Must not have any threatening female friends.

9. What's fair is fair. NO DOUBLE STANDARDS!

10. Must not be a mama's boy!

11. No smoking or too much drinking.

1:16AM - Somewhere in Between

I can’t be losing sleep over this. No, I can't.
And now I can not stop pacing.
Give me a few hours. I’ll have all this sorted out.
If my mind would just stop racing...

'Cause I cannot stand still.
I can’t be this unsturdy.
This cannot be happening.

This is over my head but underneath my feet.
'Cause by tomorrow morning, I’ll have this thing beat.
And everything will be back to the way that it was.
I wish that it was just that easy.

'Cause I’m waiting for tonight,
Then waiting for tomorrow,
And I’m somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream...
What is real, and just a dream...
What is real, and just a dream...

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in?
Don’t be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again.
I don’t want to run away from this.
I know that I just don’t need this.

'Cause I cannot stand still.
I can’t be this unsturdy.
This cannot be happening.

'Cause I’m waiting for tonight,
Then waiting for tomorrow,
And I’m somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream...
What is real, and just a dream...
What is real, and just a dream...

11:39PM

[x] I've consumed alcohol
[] I've run away from home
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[x] I open up to others easily.
[] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs
[] I own an iPod or MP3 player
[] I own something from Hot Topic
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[] I don't kill bugs.
[] I curse regularly.
[] I paid for a cell phone ringtone.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[] I love Spam.
[] I cook well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job.
[x] I love Martha Stewart. (only for wedding stuff, not cooking)
[x] I am in love
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[] I smoke a pack a day.
[x] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower
[x] I loved Go Ask Alice. (only because it hit a nerve and gave me nightmares)
[] have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[x] I can't swallow pills. only tiny tiny ones
[] can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[] I eat fast food weekly
[x] I have many scars.
[x] i've been out of this country.
[] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[] I love white chocolate.
[] I bite my nails.
[] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[] I've gotten lost in my own city.
[] I've seen a shooting star
[] I Had a serious Surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[] Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[] Been in a fist fight
[] Been arrested
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been to a casino
[] Been skydiving
[x] I have smoked cigarettes
[] Broken a bone
[x] Cried to a friend
[x] Skipped school (only senior skip day when my mom called in for me)
[ ] Flashed someone
[] Saw a therapist
[] Done a split
[x] Played spin the bottle
[x] Gotten stitches
[] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[] Crashed into a friend's car
[] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[] Been fired
[x] Stole something from your job
[] Been set up by a friend on a date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher (oh, Dean)
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[x] Been to Europe
[] Slept with a co-worker
[] Been married
[] Gotten divorced
[] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying
[] Been to Africa
[] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi
[] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[] Met someone in person from online
[] Dated someone you met on online
[] Been to a motocross show
[] Lost a child
[x] Gone to college
[] Graduated college
[] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[x] Miss someone right now

9:57PM

Music list
List six of your current favorite songs, and tag six people to do this too.



This shouldn't be too hard since it says "current" favorite...

1) Lifehouse "You and Me"
2) Mariah Carey "We Belong Together" (I know they play it all the time on the radio, but you have to learn to like it when that's what you hear all day at Camp Wannago.)
3) John Mellencamp "Jack and Diane"
4) Kelly Clarkson "Behind These Hazel Eyes"
5)
6)

That's it. I'm sorry. I really only listen to that Mariah Carey song and the stupid "Bananas" song because I really only listen to the radio at camp nowadays. (And the "Bananas" song did not make the cut because it really is what I said it is - STUPID!)




And the people that I tag are..........


1. Marty (Yes, he has a live journal, and yes, I know he's reading this.)
2. Mary Grace
3. Melissa
4. Vincent (He must still read these things.)
5. Jenna
6. Miss Jennifer Grabowski

6:24PM - Reflections of a High School Yearbook

The 2002 issue of Esuerc, L’Anse Creuse High School’s yearbook, was entitled “We Are…”. The yearbook tried to explain who the students of L’Anse Creuse High School were during my senior year. I know that I could not have determined who exactly we were during that year, but perhaps three years later I may be able to decipher it. Who was I? With whom did I attend school? What was I going through my senior year? Most importantly, how did my senior year of high school affect who I am now and what I am going to be?

On page 140 of the 2002 yearbook is where one can find me—in the middle of the page, with no caption, only my name, just like everyone else. From that picture, no one would be able to tell who I was during that year. Just eight pages later, however, one can see my picture again, on the page titled “Best of the Best”. There I was pictured with the other four valedictorians and the salutatorian. That is probably the page that tells the most about me; it tells my expected major in college—still elementary education—along with the activities in which I was involved. Even more, it tells one of my favorite quotes from the movie “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”: “If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it.” Among the other quotes of the other valedictorians on the page, mine sticks out; it is optimistic and idealistic in a childlike way, unlike the others. That is me—optimistic and idealistic. That is still me today. I pride myself on being that way.

Throughout the rest of the yearbook, one can see me in both candid shots and in photos associated with organizations. On the page called “We are Dreamers…”, I am “breaking it down on the dance floor” at the homecoming dance. Furthermore, I am pictured with the Student Council on the “We are Leaders…” page, with the Future Teachers of America on the “We are the Future…” page, and with the National Honor Society on the “We are Scholars…” page. Moreover, I am pictured as the Student Council President on the “Head of the Class” page that introduced the senior section of the yearbook. Additionally, I am mentioned on the “Remember When…” page, where seniors were asked to share highlights of their high school years. The page says, “Remember when…Jason Moore speared Kelly Walmsley in rugby…”—a fond but painful memory for me! Finally, I close out the yearbook along with one of my friends on Blue and White Day (our school spirit day). Thus, I was very involved in high school organizations. I was also always at school events; I could always be found at whatever sporting event was going on that Friday night and if someone ever needed me after school, the best place to look would have been in the school cafeteria working on some upcoming event. Overall, I was definitely a busy student throughout high school.

Nowadays, however, one would never know that I was such an involved and busy student. In college, I am not a part of any organization. In that respect, I am such a different person. So many people have asked me why I am not involved in college, and I really do not have a definitive answer. Perhaps after going nonstop for the four years throughout high school, I simply wanted to be a student. Maybe I was just burned out. Perhaps I just have not found anything in college to be passionate about like I was passionate about Student Council in high school. Perhaps I will never know the true reason. But I do know that I will never have another time in my life like the years I spent in high school.

Being so involved in high school provided me many opportunities to create friendships. Still, my best friend was only involved in one organization with which I was also involved, National Honor Society. My best friend was and is Roseann Moceri. Roseann’s life in high school was band, and she was so good at it. I was not, but I was good at supporting her in it. On the surface, no one probably would have put Roseann and I together as best friends. In fact, in our senior mock elections, Roseann was voted “Best Sense of Humor”, while I was voted “Most Serious”. How is that possible, then, that we could be best friends? I do not know, but something clicked between us, and I am so glad it did because Roseann is still a major part of my life. Many of the other people I became friends with have come and gone. Roseann has remained; she continues to be my best friend.

I am certain the halls of L’Anse Creuse High School were filled with faces that belonged to people who were not very popular, those who were not so well-known. I, however, had a problem determining those people and even more so, remembering a story to go with faces I did not recognize. Perhaps that difficulty arose from the fact that I thought I was a middle-of-the road student; I never felt like I was popular, but I was friends with those who were, and I never felt like I was “dorky”, but I was also friends with those who were. However, I can remember one girl that I wish others in my class had known better. Her name is Stephanie Calandro. I had the privilege of attending both L’Anse Creuse and the Macomb Mathematics Science Technology Center (MMSTC) with her. That means Stephanie was my only classmate with which I spent the entire school day. (I attended MMSTC in the morning and L’Anse Creuse in the afternoon.) In the senior mock elections, I was also voted “Class Genius”. It is true that I was valedictorian, but so was Stephanie. Stephanie was, in fact, much smarter than I was, and she even had a higher grade point average than I had. However, Stephanie was lesser-known than I was, so I received the award. I knew Stephanie deserved it, but I suppose popularity prevails even when it should not.

Glancing through the yearbook, many students only appear in their senior photos. The amazing thing about that is that I would not consider many of those students unpopular. Many of them were always present at school events, even if they were not officially involved in organizations. Many also worked for the school, taking tickets at games or working the grounds. That shows that only those involved in organizations are not the popular students. Popularity is not defined by involvement, although many popular students were involved.

Like many of the 2002 seniors at L’Anse Creuse High School and elsewhere, senior year was a difficult one for me. Socially, Roseann and I grew closer, but much of that was because it seemed everyone around us fell into drugs. Roseann and I clung to each other for support. Physically, I was in and out of the hospital. I was diagnosed with diabetes during my junior year of high school, and during my senior year, my diabetes raged out of control. I went into the hospital several times during my senior year, and I almost missed my graduation because of it. Both of those social and physical problems led to some psychological problems. I often cried because of my friends falling into drugs and because of the stress over school work that my hospital visits caused me. Even more so, I cried because I was scared to leave my two younger brothers behind when I went away to college. What I did not realize at the time, though, was that I still had Roseann, my health would improve, and my brothers are smarter than I gave them credit.

L’Anse Creuse High School, and specifically my senior year there, helped to shape the person I am today. There are many things I wish I could change about my time there, both in myself and in the school, but there are also so many things that I appreciate about it. L’Anse Creuse is the type of school in which I would love to teach. Just like me, it was middle-of-the-road—not an extremely rich school, but not an impoverished one either. The students were much the same way. I enjoyed much of my time at L’Anse Creuse, and I would similarly love to enjoy my years teaching. Thus, L’Anse Creuse was and is a part of who I am and who the students of L’Anse Creuse are. Just as the 2002 yearbook says: We are dreamers. We are scholars. We are the future.

6:16PM

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which laguna beach cast member are you?

find out at tell-tale-heart!

3:54PM - psst...Roseann!

I am coming home tomorrow, and I'll be home till Sunday...just in case you check this before your voicemail!

4:18PM - In an effort to reach all the Butcher people I know...

News Flash - Mr Ervin and Mr. Copeland are Retiring!

Please join us in celebrating a combined 74 years of teaching bliss.

Open House for Mr. Ervin and Mr. Copeland

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 from 3pm - 6pm

Activities Center, Butcher

We are trying to reach all of our past students. Please forward this to anyone that you might still be in contact with. We will be having a memory table for Mr. Ervin and Mr. Copeland. Please bring a picture, note, etc. to leave at the table to be included in a scrapbook for them. If you are not able to attend, send your note through email. Any questions direct to Mrs. Copeland at marcop@wcs.k12.mi.us. We hope to see you there!

Please respond to the sender of this email (one of our current seniors) if you will be able to attend so that we can get some sort of count! -- Love those numbers!

9:24PM - Santa never went by St. Nick or Kris Kringle.

Santa's dead.
All the elves are mourning.
All the reindeer are crying.

But the presents will still come this year.
It doesn't matter that Santa won't deliver them.

Santa's dead.
And I never said goodbye.
And I never thanked him for the gifts.

And no one seems to know that Santa never went by St. Nick or Kris Kringle.
Except the elves, the reindeer, and me.